Over the years I have often wondered what makes people popular over others. I am not talking about social class, charisma, or different personality types. I am talking about a even playing field...say all things equal and within a grouping (i.e. some focus that brings people together). Why are some people ignored, others popular and yet others even very popular?
Is it they are really liked or are people more afraid of them? I have often been in groups where "mean" people are actually the ones that are popular. However, one on one, each member of that group seems to have a different personality? Know what I mean.
I have seen it where people strive to be a particular person's friend (the mean one) in the group and out of the group but when away from the popular person, you discover that they really do not like the popular person.
It is like a group has to establish a pecking order so to speak. I really really dislike this. Maybe because I am rarely the "popular" person that everyone wants to be friends with.
A specific....went to school with a girl. She was beautiful, the cheerleader, beauty queen, Miss this and Miss that, EVERYBODY knew who she was and I went to a big school. Yet, her heart was not kind at all. Now she could be kind in her actions but really deep down inside? You would see her out and about and would not even speak. But when she needed something from you....BFFs. She has lead a very soap opera style life (married many times, affairs, you name it) and everyone loves to talk about her and at the same strive to be her friend. I am sure each and everyone of you know at least one person like this.
I even know people that are not cheerleader, beauty queens that for some reason have a power over people. Even when the group knows it is wrong they decide to follow this person over doing what is right. Guess this is a great sociology question (which I loved by the way).
A better question.....how do you parent this? How do you prevent your child from being the popular yet mean person? How do you prevent your child from being hurt by the popular person? (not talking about bullying)
Things that make you want to go hmmmmmm.
